Pinpointing Energy Drainers

NaBloPoMo prompt: Talk about a time when you used up an extraordinary amount of energy and were exhausted.

This question/prompt brought up a lot of "stuff." To say the past eight months have been trying and challenging and energy-draining would be an understatement. From my diagnosis on April 9 to rounds of surgeons, oncologists, treatment options, etc. etc. dealing with life following a cancer diagnosis and simply trying to get back to "normal" whatever that means right now drains me almost daily.

Being diagnosed and dealing with all I've dealt with means it's something that rarely leaves your mind and also niggles away at you in the middle of the night. Is that bump just a bump or is it something more? Is that a "normal" headache or something more? Most things build up, in my mind to a "something more." Sigh... it is exhausting and takes an extraordinary amount of energy. 

Trying to push it out of my mind and get on with life also takes energy but that energy is more productive than the "what's going to happen next" thoughts that plagued me after every phone call following every test. 

I have learned to live in the moment, stop and really be present when I am somewhere. I no longer sit in a meeting or attend an event wondering "what are we going to do next." I enjoy where I am and what I am doing. It hasn't been easy to give up the stranglehold control I had over my life but believe me, it's something I learned to do. My life was out of my control for eight months. I'm regaining control over it and over my schedule again but I know now that nothing is written in stone and it could change with the flipping of a calendar. I've been learning to conquer the overwhelm and I think it might be working!